Manners
A little girl was asked her name by a lady.
Child: My name is Judit.
Lady: No, you are to say "Judith".
The child (on seeing the lady's tongue as she emphasized the TH):
"And Grandma says I'm not to put out my tongue!"
Being prepared
A three-year-old girl who frequently walked around the house without a panty had to be reminded repeatedly to go and get a panty. One day she opened the front door for a gentleman who was knocking and on seeing him started jumping around excitedly, yelling: "Get a panty, Get a panty, Get a panty."
Knowledge
A little boy was told to stop biting his nails or he would soon have a swollen stomach. One day on the train he saw a pregnant lady and kept staring at her.
Lady: Little man, you seem to be in love with me. I bet you don't even know my name.
Child: I might not know your name, but I know what you have been doing.
Truth and Consequences
(A lady driving with her small child sitting beside her, drove through the red light and was stopped by a policeman. She told him she thought the light was on amber).
Child: No Mama, the light was on red.
The officer laughed and told the lady to drive on, as she had enough trouble sitting there beside her.
God
(Small child kneeling and saying his prayers)
I know I am somebody, cause God don't make no junk.
Manpower
Small child hears his father and a friend talking about the long time it's taking for the men to fix the roads.
Friend: What they need to do is to put more men on the job.
Soon after, the father asked his son what he would like to have for his birthday.
Child: A baby sister.
Father: Oh no, you'll have to give me more time.
Child: Well, put more men on the job.
Make It Fast
My second grader was having problems spelling the word "breakfast".
I told him to spell "break" and he did.
"Now, 'fast'," I said. He spelled "break" again, a little faster than the first time.
I said, "No, no. Spell 'fast'."
So this time, he said "b-r-e-a-k, b-r-e-a-k, b-r-e-a-k" as fast as he possibly could, so frustrated that he was on the brink of tears.
When I finally understood what was going on, I nearly wet my pants!
-- Laura; WA
Winner
My sister and her four-year-old son Jeffrey, went with me and my daughter to a "fun and games" night at my daughter's school.
The children were all playing a game of "red light, green light" while we parents chatted. When we last looked, Jeffrey was in the lead.
Suddenly Jeffrey came tearing across the field with a look of jubilation on his face. "Ask me if I won, Mommy!" "Ask me if I won!" he shouted, so excited that he could barely speak.
My sister looked at him and said, "Did you win, Baby?"
His reply was, "No, that girl over there did!" as he pointed to another student.
We laughed for at least ten minutes!
-- Tennery; MI
Designation
I am a director in an after school program for kids. One day, one of the teachers told our youngest child at the center to go back to the main room where he could be supervised.
He put his hands on his hips and said, "Not supervised! Superman!"
-- Carey; MD
